Upon first meeting me, you would probably call me reserved. I would smile politely and try with all might to remember your name. My brain would turn into a black hole as a I struggled for things to talk about with you. How about the weather? Or what do you do? Yes, you would think, a very serious and very boring person is across from me.
Only, I am not. I want to sing and dance for you. I want to be silly. Tease and make you laugh. And maybe turn you on a little if I am attracted to you. So far the only way I have been able to do this is when I drink. Otherwise, it is like there is a prison guard in my head monitoring everything I do and say. I walk around in a constant state of emotional constipation.
In 2009, I will not worry if you reject me or judge me. I will not try to be a Good Girl. And I will not need you to like me because I will be too busy being the life of the party.
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